Written on October 9th, published on October 10th.
Here I am. I don’t even know if today is truly the 88th day in my 365-day transformational goal. I am tempted to start it again, at day 0.
I don’t mind starting at day 0.
I remember as I child when I played Tony Hawk split-screen with my friend, I had what he may have seen as the most annoying OCD-perfectionist approach to playing games in the history of gaming.
The Tony Hawk game we played was on a Nintendo. The rounds were about 2 minutes long and you had to score as many points as you could by doing tricks. If I messed up my cadence and for some reason I had less points than I wanted, even if I was ahead of my friend, I would hit the start button and then click restart. It got to the point where in a matter of 5 minutes it wouldn’t have been crazy for me to have restarted the game every 15 seconds and not gotten even 30 seconds into the 2 minute rounds.
This insane approach that I had is what’s holding me back from restarting the days. If I restart now, what keeps me from restarting in three months or two or one more? What if I keep restarting 10 times and in 1 year I don’t have a chain of 365 days to look at? Just a never-ending “I’m restarting soon so it’s okay to slack off” mentality?
For my video-gaming, I feel that the approach payed off in my performance. In later Tony Hawk games on the PS2, as well as snowboarding games such as SSX and Shawn White’s Snowboarding, I could complete entire rounds with perfect scores and without having fallen even once.
I feel that restarting has it’s time and it’s place, and I will know when that time and place has come. Before I continue writing I will pause for a moment and read the first day in this series to familiarize myself with what I was even doing. If my goals still align with those initial goals, then there is no point in restarting.
I just read my running goal and it says on July 18th 2018 I will run a 5:25 mile. I ran a 5: 29 mile a few weeks ago! This means that I am very close. Right now after the cigar and hookah smoking I’ve been doing over the past week, I believe that with just a month of training I could be approaching the 5:25 mile I set out to run within a year’s time. It would be very inspirational for me to break this time so early into 365 days, in a third of the time in fact!
By the end of 365 days I could be running a 5 minute mile if I truly wanted to.
It seems that from the very beginning I was having a hard time keeping up with my mid-day meditations. I will not cut these out. There’s a reason I’m struggling with them and I will make sure that it is no longer the case. These mid-day meditations will turn into personal notes that I take after I complete the sessions, this way I will have an interesting way to visualize my progress and reward my efforts.
On the very first day I wrote these words, which I completely forgot about and which make me happy to read:
Today marks the beginning of a cycle for me. A cycle which will lead to a me that in 365 days from now will be faster, stronger, kinder, humbler, more patient, caring, and intelligent.
Today marks the beginning of a transformation from a cocooned caterpillar, held in place by a web of its own spinning, into a butterfly ready to change the weather around the world through the flap of its wings and the beat of its heart that is full with nothing but passion.
And a few more…
On this date I will also be ten times better at staffing and playing the flute. I will easily be able to write 1,000 words a day. This will happen because I am in control of my destiny and reality, and these goals are small and attainable. They are no match for my capabilities. I will be able to outshine such goals and impress myself with my ability to grow in just one year.
So far I have written over 3,000 words today if I am not mistaken. I have also been able to meditate for stretches of an hour and 24 minutes last month, run for over 2 and a half hours, and complete just as impressive feats in the realm of being kind and patient. I have had my droughts of running, of meditation, of clarity, of patience, of kindness, of strangeness, and every other virtue and activity I strive to embody.
However, if I took the average of all of these activities and struggles, emotions and results, I would feel comfortable in seeing that I am doing the very best work of my life on myself with the intention of being able to help others once I am confident I can even help myself.
It is this comfort which is making my night tonight a little easier. I thought that I would stay up and diligently write a new life manifesto, plan things out, and do as much as I could to minimize my stress against falling off the path of my most important hopes and dreams: health, wisdom, and vitality.
Instead, it looks like just by the mere act of reading my past words I have been filled with a warm and confident energy. One in which I know that things are going according to plan and that no matter how much I may feel like I’ve been slacking off, that I’ve just been busy learning.
What I’ve been busy learning is that my daily activities are not to be taken for granted. They are not commodities that I add on to my lifestyle whenever convenient. Just because I’m moving, or let’s imagine because it’s a holiday or a birthday, does not mean that I get to not run or meditate or stray away into the realm of smoking and what-have-you. These activities that I complete are ones I complete every day because I am disciplined and focused. They are the basis for my day, not the cherry on top.
I wrote a little handwritten-note yesterday jotting this idea, which I like:
Write, read, and run
Today I wrote a sentence, in part of a bigger note, which I also like on the same topic:
Attain bliss through reading, writing, running, and discipline.
It looks like things are more simple than they seem. I don’t need a checklist of a billion excess things to check off, as long as I’ve got the basic building blocks down it’s hard to be wrong.
While driving home I kept seeing this quote on a church sign that said “there’s no right way to do the wrong thing.” Then one day I thought it changed to “there’s no wrong way to do the right thing.” I think I imagined this changed. It was late and dark when I saw it.
However, I like the idea that there’s no wrong way to do the right thing. What that means to me is that there’s no wrong way to run 30 minutes a day. I can do it by jogging just 3 miles in that time or by jogging 4 or 5. There’s no wrong way to keep track of my eating habits. I can do it with a pen or with an app, and I can eat 200 less calories than I’m supposed to or 1,000 more calories than I’m supposed to, as long as I’m tracking it I’m succeeding on the right way of living in that specific matter that I set out to.
I don’t know if I’ve written about this. I’ve been inspired to become an architectural engineer. I have this idea I’m going to formulate very soon and share with the world that may be of use to the architecture field.
I also ran across a field titled “symbolic systems” today which is what MIT refers to cognitive sciences as. This field is interesting to me because I am certain that this very writing piece that you’re reading, this very 365 days transformation, and the article that preceded this transformation are all a result of my fascination with that MIT calls symbolic systems.
I’m also inspired to begin a new daily habit where I function as the “CEO” of my future for lack of a better word. For 1-30 minutes a day, I intend to determine a way to plan my life with the highest conscious capabilities endowed to me by my creator. This plan will be as clear as a blueprint or an architectural design. It will be the design of my life which I will have little to no choice over following, unless if a change or reduction in that activity or direction is approved by myself during a CEO function part of my day.
That is a personal idea that I share with you, for what it’s worth it sounds crazy. I have a plethora of others like this which function in similar ways for communities.
Today I ran for 30 minutes, meditated 21 minutes in the morning and 21 in the afternoon, practiced my meditation of gratitude, meditated for 8 minutes, and wrote three pieces for my personal blog.
Also published on Medium.