Yesterday whizzed by. I was still sick a bit and unfortunately, I woke up at around 10 AM or so. The night of Wednesday I wrote and went to bed a little late. I don’t think whatever amount of gummies I ate really helped.

You know, I just remembered I never visited the Checkers where “whatever,” the possibly trans-person that I met a week or two ago works. That’s a bummer. Maybe I’ll call one day and say hello. I don’t think it would impact things much by not going. I would drop by Sunday when I will be kind-of-in-that-checkers area but even then it’s a dice throw as to whether “whatever” will actually be working that day.

In the evening yesterday I worked and worked on updating a website. Then I went to bed at around 12: 30 AM.

Day 106, Friday, Today

I woke up to the sound of a doorbell, a service man came to check a propane tank. Then I worked in the basement and didn’t hear the second service man that came to check on some heater. Whoops. He left before I realized what had happened.

I kept working on the website update, it’s a re-design of a site I built over 4 years ago. It’s nearly ready to go live. Then after that I spoke with someone else on the phone that is looking for a site. I was pretty busy but pretty excited for what lays ahead.

Throughout the day I got more and more excited about life. Finally that I’m over being sick, I have my “old” energy back. I feel like I’ve been sick for two weeks now honestly, I haven’t had a surge of energy like this in a long time.

I didn’t have breakfast, and I don’t remember what I ate yesterday or when. For lunch I cooked three tortillas in oil. Maybe because I’ve gone vegan my body is craving some sort of “cream” and it thought that oil was this cream. It made a huge mistake that I would pay the price in later, with a half-hearted-vomitting attempt from my stomach.

I ate a bit of hummus that was left with the tortillas. I also meditated for 21 minutes during the middle of the day.

Towards the afternoon I winded down and cleaned up a bit. I thought C-lady was going to come today, because that’s what we discussed earlier. She couldn’t get a hold of her grandparents to watch her son, so with that in mind, she said she’ll let me know if anything changes. I’m glad I planned to see her because that made me put away work and not keep working until it’s ready to sleep. Since I was in the mood to see her, now that she’s not coming, I get that time for myself because it’s certainly not going to magically reverse into doing more web stuff at 10 PM on a Friday.

After tidying up I went for a 4 mile run. I finished it in 36 minutes and 34 seconds. It was getting dark when I left, since it was probably around 6: 45 PM or so. My run consists of a mile along a road, and then a mile along a power line that follows a clearing in the forrest.

What inspired my running, even though I think the last time I ran was on October 16th, was me listening to this specific Space Jesus song while tidying up. It’s not that good for most ears I’m sure, and maybe not even for mine, yet I enjoyed listening to it. There’s only so much 4-hour mixes of Native American or Shamanic drumming, or positive energy Mhz vibrational music that I can listen to before I just need some weird alien-sounding sounds.

Space Jesus was the first performer I saw by myself (aside from U2 as a middle school child), I think when I was 18, at a place called CoSM before I even knew who or what he was. Listening to this music got me energized and dancing, which led to me being in a running mood.

My first mile, I ran in 6 minutes and 14 seconds. When I got to the forrest it was dark and I knew it would be really dark on my way back. While running I was listening to this Space Jesus mix. It was weird because it was saying “don’t stop” and repeating it. I listened. I didn’t stop. I ran, and I ran, and I ran. There’s a part of a song I always think is called “Abduction” by Space Jesus which you can listen to 1:15 – 1:45 or so through this link. I thought about aliens just picking me up and that song coming on. That would be interesting.

When I used to run in high school I came up with a fictional story of a man that runs, and you see this more like a movie than a book, and as he runs you see a pair of eyes off in the background behind a tree. He’s running very early in the morning, around 3-4 AM, and he doesn’t see the eyes. You see the eyes.

The man keeps running and every day there’s more and more eyes. Eventually there are so many eyes that it causes the dark to go away.

It’s a lot creepier than it sounds you see. Especially if you’re the one running, thinking these things up or remembering them.

I reminded myself with compassion that if there were eyes behind or around me which I was not seeing, that I was the seer. There are only other beings of me and I have good intentions so the eyes would have good intentions too. As I was running into the forrest, to get to the 2 mile mark of my run, my body began to ache. My lungs or stomach was hurting, I have no idea what it was, but I was at a 17-minute-mile at some point…

At the 2 mile point there is this factory or facility or something. I’ve never seen it in the dark before. With the lights lighting it up, it honestly looks like some hell-hole production of who-knows-what. It’s spooky. Like really eerie. There’s orange and red lights. In the day there’s a sign that says not to go any further because the field is some sort of reservation to promote some sort of animal well-being. I always thought it’s just a way of saying don’t trespass into this hell-hole facility.

I turned around to start my run back and it was extremely dark. My body aches went away, about 1/4″ of a mile of turning around my pace was an 8 minute mile. I couldn’t see the ground in front of me. I ran into mud a few times but was able to avoid the puddles luckily. My imagination of the eyes came up and I ran faster and faster. The music said something like “run” in a distorted electronic way. I kept the music turned up and sometimes I looked behind me, feeling like someone was following.

At one point I thought a light was turned on behind me, because the ground in front was so illuminated. It was the moon! It was so dark in front of me at this point that the only source of illumination was the moon. Speaking of, the moon and sky looked amazing during this whole run.

I eventually made it back to the road. Then I ran home and felt like I had to push myself harder then, and next time. It took me roughly 33 minutes to run 3.6 miles. My last run that was 3.6 miles was completed in 29 minutes. I’m hoping to run 3.6 miles in 25 minutes at some point. So I do have to push myself harder.

When I got home I showered. I also cooked an interesting thing for myself, using ingredients in the fridge which were none-dairy. I started cooking after making a bowl with 2 packets of oatmeal. Oh well, I’ll eat both I thought.

I was going to make a sandwich. I cut myself mushrooms, carrots, and broke off small broccoli heads, and I also had some other green small-leafy plant I broke pieces of and tossed into a saucepan. I added frozen corn too. Maybe there was something else. I forget. One-time I made this amazing sauce using mayonnaise, three or four different hot sauces, honey, and Sriracha, and maybe one other thing. Oh! Extra virgin olive oil. Gosh, that sauce was either insanely good or I was insanely crazy to think it was insanely good. I don’t know which. I haven’t made it again. I put it over melted cheese on bagels that had been toasted. It was really good.

Right now however, as I’m trying to invent this meal for my stomach quickly and surely, I can’t put in mayonnaise… I put some Sriracha on my vegetables in the saucepan, and I add some pepper. Oh, and some Agave. I was going for sweet and sour but I couldn’t find any honey.

I put this on bread I cut in half, and toasted in the saucepan before all the veggies. For some reason I used oil, or a lot more oil than I needed, for the veggies and the bread. Oh well, I’ll learn one way or another. I also roasted some tomatoes and added them to the sandwich. Oh that’s what I was missing while writing earlier!

I sat down and ate some of the oatmeal. I didn’t really want to eat any of it but I wasn’t going to throw it away, and I wasn’t going to eat it later. I ate a bit more of it. Then I had the sandwich. I had to stop myself half-way through because I wanted the sandwich to be the last taste on my tongue. I switched back to the oatmeal and ate all of it. Then I finished the sandwich and pickles, which I would have to say came out well but a bit too sweet for my taste.

After dinner I proceed to research if the Essenes have a center where I’m moving to. It seems like they should. Now I will spend some time and write on a topic I came across while reading about them.

Jesus Was a Vegetarian, So Why Aren’t You?

To be continued… In like one second.


Also published on Medium.