Today, while weighing my body and surprisingly finding out that I weigh 139 pounds, I realized that I am 33% into my 365 year transformation.

A few days ago my roommates were wondering how much I weigh, and I said 145 pounds, and that the last time I weighed myself I was 148. That must have been about a month ago. They were surprised as their guess had been 135. However, it seems that their guess was closer to my actual weight than my own.

Being 139 is great. I seek to bring this down even more, to 135. I have been for a while, which is the most interesting thing of all that they would have guessed that is what I weigh.

I like the idea of this number come to think of it. 1 + 3 + 5 = 4+ 5 = 9 represented as 1+3+5, 4 + 5, 9 + 0. The numbers produced are 0, 1, 3, 4, 5, 9. The difference between these numbers is 1, 2, 1, 1, 4. The total of these numbers is also 9.


I am amazed by the fact that I knew it was worth while to write sentence after sentence of the numbers and that it would take me to something that is actually amazing about this number, 135. Isn’t that such a whole number? Has anyone ever represented such a concept before?

I will call this concept of referring to numbers that follow the principle of being produced as seen above and having a difference of the same number as The Budding Relationship principle.

Today was just as wholesome and interesting as the spontaneous discovery of The Budding Relationship principle. By the way, I do not know if there are other numbers that result in such a sequence and phenomena.

While attending an event at a community house, I sat down at a table and three books from Thich Nhat Hanh were on the surface. The Energy of Prayer, True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart, and The World We Have. Just a few days ago I wrote about how my friend handed me a book by this author about two weeks ago, titled You are Here: Discovering the Magic of the Present Moment, and I sat and read a page or two.

The table was then moved into a different room, and it wasn’t being used. I got the book “The Energy of Prayer” from this room, after it was moved, and sat down and read it. When the event became a bit more packed, I set the book back in its room. I had read into page 41 or 42, and was on the topic of how prayer is empty without practice.

Then at some point during the event I met a man who was the husband of the woman who started the company which was throwing the event. I saw a bracelet on his hand, which was a simple knot in a string. Actually, let me backtrack. I want to give you an additional detail.

Actually, wait, the details will dilute the story.

So this bracelet on his hand, I ask him about it. He tells me he got it at an underground temple called Damanhur in Italy when he became a member. He tells me a bit about the history of Damanhur, which is available here.

The summary is this: the temple was built underground, the officials didn’t know about it, this caused issues, the issues went away when a prosector was taken underground and shown what lay there.

I ask the man about his religion. He says that he would identify as Buddhist. Then I ask him if he’s heard of Alex Grey. I don’t know what sparks that in me. I just had the idea that this underground temple is a one-in-the-world sort of place, and that Chapel of Sacred Mirrors, created by Alex Grey as a vehicle, is also a one-in-the-world sort of place. Then this person tells me that he has heard of Alex Grey and seen his artwork.

So then this person is telling me that I ought to visit them some time, and tell me that they have a movie on this temple. They tell me that their house is easy to spot, his wife and his house that is, and that it is on a certain road, and it can be seen by the “Buddhist prayer flags.” Well here’s where it all starts to get interesting.

I bring up with the man, the three books I had found prior to meeting him, how I heard about this author two weeks prior through the friend handing me one of his book’s, and how I started to read the one regarding prayers earlier that night.

I got up to get the book from the other room and share it with him. He was sharing with me what he’d learned about prayers at the temple, and I thought it was funny that he was sharing this since I had just been reading how prayer should be followed with practice in order to manifest.

At some point during this conversation, this man offers me a high five. I wish I could remember when. It was a great encounter to have someone offer me a high-five for all of the synchronicities and realizations coming forth to me at a profound and instantaneous rate.

It was funny because about 10 minutes before that I walked over to high-five someone who said that they had quit cigarettes. I also met a man who is allergic to TV due to a hypersensitivity brain or hyper sensitive brain or something like that. The reason this came up is because I asked if he had seen Malcom in the Middle, or Breaking Bad, since I wanted to tell him that he resembled the main character. Anyways, I digress, the main point here is that I was having interesting and in-tune connections regarding awakening. Awakening to the truth that nicotine is harming the user. Awakening by embodying a body that is allergic to the vibrations of the television. Awakening to prayers and temples and divinity and infinity.

So when I tell this Buddhist man about Alex Grey, I also begin to also tell him an interesting story of a coincidence regarding my meeting him. I Googled “psychedelic art” some time many years ago, then found an interesting paint brush online which I made the background of my Twitter profile:

Then after finding the paintbrush, I watched a video about the artist, Alex Grey, on YouTube. About a week or two later, my roommates at the time invited me to go to some event in NY. I didn’t like what I heard about all the psychedelic art this and that, and I thought that the crowd would be unadvanced and not my crowd. I ended up changing my mind, and I didn’t know much about this event or artist. All I had seen about it was a blurb about the musicians that would be at it, and that the event was a “Winter Solstice.” Fast forward about 24 hours and I’m inside the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors, and I see all this art around me. All of a sudden I have a realization.

It looks like my Twitter background! I then see Alex Grey. I can’t believe I am in this place. Later on I went on to tell Alex that I imagined him. He responded something to the effect that yes, “[you imagined me and everything else],” and my mind filled in that I too am imagined.

So then I’m telling this man about how Alex identifies as a diamond light-bolt carrier. I can’t remember the exact term, so I look it up and the internet returns the term as “Vajrayana,” which is “usually translated as Diamond Vehicle or Thunderbolt Vehicle, referring to the Vajra, a mythical weapon which is also used as a ritual implement.”

Then the man I’m sharing this with tells me that they have Vajras at the temple, or references something about Buddhism, and tells me how they look. He tells me to pull up a photo, so I do.

Then I decide to pull up a photo of the brush. I told him before I pulled it up, that I am sure this vajra was a part of the brush. Mind you, at the time I was telling him this I hadn’t seen the paintbrush art piece in at least a year or so, at least, I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen it. We pul up the brush, and there it is, the vajra!

Now here’s the real kicker. I realized that the reason I asked this man about his bracelet was more than likely because Alex Grey has the same one on his hand, since he is a member. I have seen Alex Grey twice, and since he is a painter it is easy to see his wrist and notice a bracelet on it. I’m certain I had seen this bracelet and my mind, which is apparently extremely keen on details, picked up the fact that the bracelet the man wore today was interesting and that I ought to ask about it.

Why was it interesting? Because it had one knot in the middle. The knot was aligned with the veins at the bottom of the hand. It reminded me of the string that surrounds my Kill Bill inspired shoulder bamboo flute, and subconsciously, or vibrationally, of Alex Grey.

At the end of the event, while cleaning, a woman was locked out when she walked up to the backdoor to get back in. She knocked on it. I walked over to the backdoor, across the entire event’s room, in a few brief steps. The best way I could describe the posture and energy of my steps is the way Anne Rice would describe the elegance of vampires, their movements, and gaits which had the same ease that being on the edge of walking and flying would. I could see that the woman behind the glass felt the same way.

I open the door, and she looks at me cooly, and/or I her, with a certain impression, and tells me something along the lines of “boy, you are really light on your feet!” I told her it was weird she said that, because I thought she was thinking that as I walked across. Then I went back to whatever I was doing, and thought about how weird it was, and then I realized she had in a way complimented me so I spoke to her across the room she was now walking across and said “thank you by the way!”

It’s odd because today in the morning I did 30 push-ups, as fast as I could, after noticing I was 139 pounds. I wanted to test myself. Aside from running this last Sunday, I haven’t done much physical exercises. I was surprised with my capacity to pump out 30 push-ups so quickly considering I have not been working out, and considering that I have been fasting and eating vegan. I was expecting to become weaker, not stronger, by doing the combination of these things.

Today I also fasted 17 hours, aside from an apple I ate at 2 PM today.. The last time I had eaten before that was yesterday at around midnight, rice and chow mein my roommate brought from the restaurant that they work at. I broke my fast today at around 5 PM, while eating at the event’s pot-luck buffet.

The lightness in my walk was not illusory. That is to say, I did not bounce my arms around as if I were light. I did not mime walking light or intend to walk lightly or envision doing so. I simply felt light from fasting, even though I was full from three plates of food as I walked, and I felt light from being a vegan, and I felt light from having let the cyclic thoughts of the mind no longer bear down on the self.

When I got home after the event I told my friend about all of this and how interesting the encounter had been with the man who was a member of the temple in Italy. My friend told me that they have prayer flags too, and pointed them out where they were hanging to their right on an arrow, and that they will give me some of my own.

Then here’s the most interesting thing of all… Where my friend pointed to the flags hanging on an arrow, is where I walk every day going down two small steps, aiming to walk as high into the air so that the top of my head may touch the squares hanging down. I did this yesterday or the day before and then walked back to look at them, curious to confirm that the squares were hanging on a bow, which they were, which made me admire the whole setup even more.

At times I was afraid my walking too high would cause my head to hit the ceiling. Then I looked it all over again and relaxed, knowing my head couldn’t hit the ceiling, that is, if I didn’t jump.

Until tonight, I did not know that the squares are prayer flags. My friend searched for the flags they had in a book, which they handed to me, which I was starting to understand are Buddhist prayer flags, and I thought that they would look nice hanging up on my shoulder bamboo flute. I got my flute and saw that there is a notch in the seam of the bamboo which is perfect for me tie the ends of the strings unto:

As I made the knot, I made a prayer.

Manifest destiny.

Then as I was about to make the second one, my friend was talking. I let their talk make an imprint on my mind and self, and I knew it would be the second promise. I closed the knot over the second notch as I told my friend what I had done. Then my friend said I could use string to tie the end of the flute, where the last of the four notes did not work, due to it having cracked a while back:

Then I played a song for them on my Native American flute, and then on my long shoulder flute which is inspired by Kill Bill. I was a bit energetic in warding off the sadness from whatever by being an entertainer, a jester if you will, that I accidentally lost grip on my shoulder flute while I was using it as a staff to show whatever the double-edged use of this instrument in kicking whoever’s ass that decides to be a jerk to you, and the long flute flew in the air and landed on the ground. I was surprised it hadn’t broken.

Then I put the long flute in my trunk and shut the trunk down. The flute was not all the way in, and unfortunately, a part of it broke which makes my last note sound the same as the third note. This is a bit unfortunate since there’s only four notes on the flute in total. I also do not have a surplus of money to buy another one at this moment in time. I must take better care of my Native American flute because that is not one to be reckoned with or broken.

I thought it was funny how I felt a pang of sadness at the breaking of my shoulder flute, no matter how short it was. It’s made out of bamboo. I am using it between its life as a plant and its life as a flute, and eventually, its decomposition. Eventually the flute would go back into the earth and make soil. Now it is just closed to soil than ever before. Why should that sadden me? I wondered too about how the unkind words said to whatever had flowed into me, and distracted me from taking better care of the flute since I was more interested in being a good entertainer for whatever so that they may forget about these unkind words.

Day 97 through Day 102 – Repeated Acts of Extreme Fasting and Hiking

It’s funny that in the note I made in Day 97 through Day 102, I referenced seeing Alex Grey patterns with my eyes closed. What a recurring person to reference and think about! One time, months ago, I had a dream that I was at the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors and that the event there had ended and it was time to go. I was speaking with Alex and his wife was telling him, or rather shout from the room above, that I ought to go. Alex was apologetic, and I responded “none of this even matters, it’s all an illusion!” Then everyone in the house awoke from the shouting. I then woke up, to realize it was a dream, and thought it was hilarious that I woke people up in a dream.

My friend today gave me twine which had the same thickness as the string of the Buddhist prayer flags. I went ahead and tightened it around my flute, yet it didn’t make the last note sound any better.

Then I tied the twine around my left wrist, like the man had it tied around his own wrist at the event. I could have imitated the knot, with some effort, yet I decided on my knot and string to look inspired by the bracelet rather than be the bracelet itself identically.

I wrapped it around multiple times and tied the whole thing together, multiple times. I just now counted the amount of strings that make up the bracelet, and it comes in at 8 strings.

It’s a whole string of course, yet the way it is twisted and tied, it looked like 8 strings.

Isn’t that interesting? Just the other day I was having a deep connection with 8.

While tying the knots, an 8 on its side, as a symbol of infinity, without my intention, formed.

Look at this Damanhur symbol by the way.

By the way, once more, here’s what some of the rooms in the previous location of the Chapel of Sacred Mirrors looked like. I have not seen these rooms, art works, or configurations in person before.

I have seen them online though. Now that I have seen the temple of Damanhur, I can also see the resemblance between these rooms and the temple’s.

These are all powerful connections. I am seeing with eyes like I have never seen before.

8, infinity, 9, once one way, twice the same way, go onto 8 as it is one, be one, be gone, silence is the way, of God, and maybe, more.

To be continued…

Also published on Medium.