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After work today I looked up grocery stores to stop by on the way home. I tapped on Safeway or some generic store, and a second later realized that there was a Krishna store on the way. I cancelled the trip and re-routed there instead. I was looking for a tomato and some sweet pea pods, instead I ended up with incense, Sattu drink powder, and some sort of fried vegan pastries. Then I went to a store I’m certain was 99% organic, which I don’t think I’ve done before.

There I got some Maca power, along with many boxes of boxed soup, some “no stir” peanut butter, cereal, bread, blackberries, hummus, and pita bread. Maybe there were other things I got, like almond milk, but I’m blanking on the rest. After getting home I tried some Sattu drink and Waca with almond milk. It was really great and I drank more and more Sattu and shared it with my friend and a roommate. My roommate had the idea of blending it all with ice, and a banana, which came out really great as well.

For dinner I prepared bagels, with hummus spread on them, tomatoes, and hummus, for my friend and I. They had the idea of adding potato chips which came out tasting amazing as well. In the middle of eating I added curry spice to my bagel, and it too tasted great.

Today I came across a crypto-currency called IOTA. I’m fairly certain that as soon as my Bitcoins become available, I will be investing all of them into IOTA. After reading about it, I’m certain that an investment into such a risky endeavor is more worth it than holding onto Bitcoin for 5-10 years in the speculation that they will at least double from the $19,000 price I bought them at. Maybe I ought to only spend half of my BTC on buying IOTA, I will see. My Bitcoins will become available on Saturday.

Also in yesterday’s post, that spanned a few days, I forgot to mention that I FaceTimed my friend in Greece, a friend from Virginia, and a friend from Maryland. I’m surprised that’s been happening because I never FaceTimed people before, not once over the course of this previous year, as far as I can remember. Maybe it means these friends miss me, I know I miss them. Yet aside from my friend that was visiting Greece, I didn’t spend much time with the others. One I hung out with a handful of times, the other I met once on a bus trip from Georgia to Virginia, and then didn’t see them in person again.

They’ve all got nice compliments and all for me, which is nice, however I’m so tired of digital communications. I spent some of my time today reading about the reality as a simulation theory, which I have had first-hand ironies that more or less proved it to me, much before Elon Musk made the general populous aware of the idea that the chance of us not being in a simulated reality is 1 to 1,000. Well anyways, the reality of the matter is that we aren’t quite sure of the matter of reality in any which way, so why would I spend my time in something that resembles a simulation more than the life around me? I.e., why would I live my life in some sort of THX 1338 or “Fifteen Million Merits” episode from Black Mirror sort of way when I could be living it snowboarding or skydiving or something of that nature? Seriously, come on now, I don’t have time to spend my life working and thinking and manifesting my dreams, all to spend a small time of it on the damn phone.

The phone is such an uninspired piece of technology compared to the inventions in my mind. Why would I limit my day to day use with something that’s mundane at this point, instead of creating the future?

While eating lunch today with my trainer, and an auditor, we were discussing Bitcoin. The auditor’s husband had wanted to invest $13,000 with a friend in mining Bitcoins, or buying them, back in 2010. They would have had at least $10 million today is what she said, I’m certain it would be at least even more, anyways, by seeing this person’s frustration with not having $10 million, I could see my frustration with having at least not gambled away the .5 BTC I bought for myself when I bought .5 BTC for my friend’s birthday. I would have $10,000… On and on these thoughts went, until I saw from a third person perspective what that sort of thinking does to one’s physiology. It hampers it!

So here I am, enjoying good food and good thoughts, with them having no impact on the self. I will put one’s body to good use, and a good purpose, and I will back that purpose until the day I die, without questioning, without reminiscing on enjoyable or non-enjoyable memories, and on and on and on, and so forth. One can create a simulation in one’s mind, and what for if we are already in one? Why is there an obsession with the truth-seekers to rise out of the simulation, a level above it and to see the CPU in process as it commutes the reality beneath, and why is there an obsession with those unsatisfied with the current reality to escape it further by burrowing deeper into another simulation? I do not know. However, I do know that the reality of IOTA is very interesting to me for brief reasons I read about it, and I am excited at the possibility of myself having bought Bitcoins at such an interesting time having been nothing more than a path onto getting IOTA, since you need BTC in order to trade for them.

I don’t quite know what will come next, I just know that I am grateful for where I am, what I am, and who I am. For all of these things I give thanks to, and because of these things I am complete.

Furthermore, these past few days, on Saturday or Sunday I think, I got a chance to talk to the friend from Virginia and they opened my mind. I shared with them how writing my day to day has made me more intentional, and also, how if I do something silly, say like “poop my pants,” I can either write about it and feel sillier for it, or I can omit it and feel odd for omitting pooping my pants, and not knowing where to draw the line of being embarrassed and of being forthcoming. My friend shared with me how a lot of authors didn’t write for an audience, as much as for themselves. I began to think about this, and how my writings only get one to three reads on average, and how I would benefit more from writing even the embarrassing things, even where I fail. As interesting as it is to think upon these things, I don’t know if I have the power to change the writing style I have become accustomed to, in fact, the rhythm I’ve become accustomed to.

At the end of each day, I ponder about the day, even though I’ve tried to switch to personal journaling, without success, and even though I’ve determined I ought to look towards the future and write more plans and work on them, rather than looking back one day at a time, and even though I’ve even considered and discussed on here, the desire to switch into two videos a day of sharing lessons, and writing occasionally to plan objectives and follow up with them.

Yet here I am, living in the present, day after day, not quite sure what’s coming next. I will wake up tomorrow, early that is, because I must shovel the walkway should the expected amount of snow fall tonight, and I must turn on my car to let it melt itself off, and I must find a snow brush if I can’t melt it all in time, and I must put together some lunch for myself and get prepared and all, not to mention that I desire to brush my teeth, complete a little yoga, one or two postures that is, followed with 42 minutes of meditation, and a restful sleep., one that can be as restful as possible, because you see tomorrow will be a long and hard day, and when I get home it will be followed with more errands, and the only real hope I will have tomorrow is the hope that Friday will come and I will do my best to let my mind wander and relax, without asking it to find something to clean or organize or plan or read or write. This weekend, not today, not now, as one might determine would be best, to live in the moment and begin now, this weekend I go on, is the time when I will look for the “off-button” and ask my brain and body to quiet down for a bit so that I may hear the world over its breathing and beating.

To be continued…


Also published on Medium.