Last night I found out a distant friend’s birthday was either yesterday, or today. I called them and sang them happy birthday, and played a bit of flute in between. Then today I sent them $25 to use for a class or two of yoga.
It’s interesting to me that I’ve spent $7 on one yoga class in the past few months since I’ve moved, and I gifted my friend $25 to use on yoga. I gifted what I don’t do nearly as often as I did. I thought about this today, trying to figure out why. I was disciplined at meditation when joining a group weekly for yoga and meditation. Now I’m not in either yoga or meditation. How could that be?
I always figured that doing it on my own would allow me to get more done throughout the day. For example, before when I was going to yoga I would spent at least half an hour driving there and half an hour back (regardless if it was a meditation group or a yoga class). I realized that’s an hour a day of just driving to get to yoga and home! Wouldn’t I have more energy if I did yoga right where I was?
Well, funny enough, I’m slowly getting the answers. When I began this 365-day transformation, 170 days ago, I was bent on playing the flute better, running faster, and a variety of other things. I never made the intention to write as often as I do, and yet I do. I never made the intention to cease being a pescatarian, yet I quickly became a vegetarian, and then a vegan. I never made the intention to wake up every single day and remember as best as I can that everything is more than alright, and that I’m in a dream more or less, yet I do, more or less.
I don’t know if I’ve written about this before, if it’s my memory or my energy that’s keeping me from accessing my memories of whether I wrote about this, or whether I’m not making new memories when I write, since I’m busy reliving the day; but here’s the thing… I was thinking about my back one day and how it is discomforting and then I forget what realizations I had, but I realized that my back hurts not because of a physical issue, but rather, because I am focusing on my back hurting. You know how I realized this? One day I realized that I didn’t remember the last time my back hurt, and within hours, my back was hurting again.
This is not the first time that this has happened. So here’s what happened next, within a few days I saw an advertisement on Pandora of a back study being completed at a nearby university. In fact, it was the same university I’d been looking at for architecture programs. So I tapped on the advertisement and quickly signed up, in the notes I said “please pick me, my back hurts.”
We rescheduled the study twice, but it’s finally scheduled for this weekend and I’m excited. You know why? Because, for starters, they are testing the relationship between the mind and the body, in terms of back pain. They will administer a “cure” in the sense of ideas and thoughts to one group, and to the others, a placebo. The ones that get the placebo will get the actual “cure” a few weeks later. I also found out, after we rescheduled, that I will get paid for this back study, I believe $250-350. Isn’t that amazing? I knew deep down that my back pain was coming from my mind, and then somehow I continued to doubt it even a little, even though I KNEW my mind was causing it, and then the universe said here, we’ll PAY YOU to see that YOU ARE RIGHT. We are going to show you through what you believe in and cling on to so tightly, science that is, that you are in fact as aware of the knowledge of the body as your creator, for you are the creator of your experience and you are in control at all times of your pains or your pleasures.
So far the crypto-currencies I’ve bought haven’t created profits. The two I bought recently have gone down an average of 20%. I’m not worried though, with the back-study payment coming up, along with a new project I’m starting, the money is just illusionary. I want money and I visualize it because it’ll just give me more possibilities for my imagination, not because I need it.
Speaking of, someone I connected with a while ago on Facebook reached out to me again. We’ve been discussing a certain idea for months now. They are a student from Canada. My friend who invests, and I, are meeting this weekend to discuss putting together a course for him online, that he will teach, on how to buy crypto-currencies and what to look out for, in terms of trading patterns. The person I’m starting on a marketing project with is from Canada as well, and I’ve known him for a while. To top it all off, the marketing project prospect came in a day after I wrote on a piece of paper plans for building my business and for helping others. I’m also kicking off sharing chai with more and more people, because it’s had an impact on me and I want to share it with others.
Additionally, I might add, that my friend from Maryland, who I met at yoga one time, is going to visit me soon. I look forward to seeing them so much, as well as meeting their son who is coming with them. This will be my first time hosting a guest that is visiting me from another state, so it’s quite exciting.
Further more, I’ve been becoming more and more understanding of the fact that there is no “tomorrow,” no “next year.” All of the dreams I want to experience are to be experienced now. I don’t dream while I sleep and think “tomorrow I want to dream about flying.” In the dream, I fly. This is the dream, and here and now I want to create amazing things that will empower people to flourish and be as amazing as they wish.
Furthermore, my mom shared a site with me of a coworker who is a freelancer and a photographer. My mom had told me about this person when I was still in Virginia, but I didn’t think much of it,. I had so many other things on my mind, I forget about my mom mentioning them to me all together. I think she’d said that this person was interesting and so forth, it sounded like they wanted to introduce me to them. Well it seems somehow my mom’s taken the initiative on that, she told me today that this coworker is going to read my writings on Medium, and that they hadn’t heard of Medium before.
Well that’s an interesting use-case for my writings. This really did start off as a journal which was public, therefore it kept me accountable, regardless of no audience, and now I see that the audience even as small as it is, has access to a large glimpse of my past few months. I don’t know what it looks like from the outside, if one were to actually keep up with everything. I think it’s quite hard to keep up with everything though. Which is mind-boggling in fact. I always didn’t understand how there’s authors out there who have written so much that it would take years to delve through all of their material. Now I see that if I write an average of 20-minutes-worth-of-a-read-a-day, which is possible depending on how fast someone reads, that after a few decades it would take them nearly as much time to digest the material as it did for me to scribe it down. Granted, it took me longer to experience the breath of experience which I would then extract and distill into a concentrated form of what I can remember to mention at the end of the day, yet none the less, it will be a chronicle of length.
There’s no tomorrow. What I want to accomplish today must be accomplished today. What needs to be done today, what is important, is importantly done today. Anything else is less than my best, and I can’t have that.
My investing friend, who is also a runner, really liked this quote “to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift.” I found out later, after visiting Eugene, OR last year a few times, that the runner was from there, or had run races there. In fact, he died there now that I looked him up. I would have visited his cemetery, Steve’s Rock, had I known when I had the chance, but I didn’t.
He was hit by car, that’s how he died. He went by the same death that the Peace Pilgrim did. You know the oddest thing is that every time I see the Peace Pilgrim’s Wikipedia page my blood is infused with an elevated consciousness and I am lifted. I wonder if my face and story will have that affect on those who see it long after I’m gone.
To be continued…
Also published on Medium.