Yesterday was an interesting day. I woke up feeling in a slump. After showering I meditated for 11 minutes. I felt a bit stuck.

I messaged my friend on the east coast, that’s visited me earlier this year around February. We spoke and I felt a lot better.

In between her responses, as she was doing a breathing meditation contemplating what I had shared with her, I ate a snack and decided I will go to the Great Sand Dunes. I accidentally ended up at the Sand Dunes Trail, which is different, but still great. I didn’t find out until today when I did some confirmations.

The reason for the drive was to test my car and see if it would overheat. It was an odd test, considering my car only overheated on a 13 hour long drive into higher altitude on my last leg of the drive from Virginia to Colorado. I just wanted to be sure for when my friend visits. I got to the Sand Dunes and was looking at my phone, then I noticed my car was overheating. I don’t know if the fans work. It looks like it wasn’t overheating when I was driving, just when I was sitting there.

I can’t really blame my car though. It’s small enough as it is, and rolling up and down the mountains, and then driving on a gravel road at a steep incline to get to the Sand Dunes trail, then just sitting there, roasting in the black sun, is just not a great way for it to cool down. I got out and started my hike.

In the middle of it I played my flute and doodled a bit. Then I headed back to my car. On the way out of the trail I realized there was a great spot for parkouring. So I stopped and parkoured for about 20 minutes, which was really fun. I scratched the front of my left shin a bit, but it was all in good fun and definitely worth it. Then I drove home.

My friend’s response to me in the morning was to trust my own path. That really touched me.

I got home and went to bed, with the fireworks roaring and bursting.

Then this morning I woke up and looked at my phone. My landlord was curious if I had been burning incense. I got frustrated and went into thought-loops as soon as I saw the text, then did my best to make sure I have a great day by affirming I will have a great day.

Yesterday I listened to Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, and the only recorded presentation from Earl Shaoff. There was no way this was going to ruin my day.

Eventually through text I determined what I suspected, my landlord doesn’t want me burning incense. That stinks.

I contacted a few people today inquiring about renting a room. With my friend visiting this month my budget isn’t the best for moving, and I don’t even want to move again. Just yesterday I was annoyed by how often I move and hoping to just settle down somewhere. But if I’m going to live in a place, I better well be able to burn incense whenever I feel like it.

I don’t think I’ll move out at the end of July, because I would rather have a bigger budget for moving so that I can move into a place that might cost a little more but be a better place. Also I need a big budget because I want to offer the potential landlords a month as a deposit, or more, since I am young and all and everyone seems to be real picky about 22 year olds.

At my current place I can’t have people over, which I can live with considering I have no friends in the area aside from the one that I used to live with. But I can’t live without burning incense.

I guess I’ll have to see how long I can go without burning incense. Because I really don’t want to keep moving, and the place I live in is somewhat decent in terms of distance from my work, and such, but it has its downsides. I can’t cook for too long for example. That’s terrible. I like cooking.

I have a small deposit on the place I’m in now, I don’t think I will be able to give a 30 days notice if I want to find a decent place to live in somewhere else. I think the deposit was $150 or something. I’ll have to say goodbye to that when I move out, but I’m willing to part with it if I find a better place.

Yesterday after listening to all the personal development material I got more and more bent on bringing focus back into my life. I’m not too sure what I want, and I guess that’s all a part of the underlying problem. You can’t have what you don’t know you want, right?

Yesterday I also thought I lost my GoPro and didn’t pack it with me after parkouring. A part of me hoped I forgot it, and hoped I would drive back and not find it, so that I would buy a new one as soon as possible. I didn’t used to have desires for things, but after getting a GoPro and a drone, I really like the fun I’ve had with the gadgets and can have with them, so I see myself wanting more.

For example, I want to get a monitor or two. I would need a desk for my room too, but I don’t want to get a desk before I move. So it’s all a big circle and I’m just trying to figure out how to go about it all.

Later today, after work, I meet with my friend for the personal statement meeting I bought on Monday. This will be by far the most expensive investment I’ve made in myself (aside from eating well, vacations, books, equipment, and so forth), so I’m curious to see how it will go. I feel I went out that day when I met this friend to find some meaning in my life, and in my business, so to have met her instead of the CMO I was going to meet is neat. I also look forward to having discovered a mantra with her, for myself, and to see what my tarot card will end up looking like.

I hope she paints a blue flute-wielding Krishna. Just a few weeks ago I was considering buying blue face paint and going down town, playing my flute, walking around just playing it and having fun. I haven’t done that yet. Too shy, or maybe I don’t know where to find blue face paint, or don’t want to deal with it now since it might be too hot.

Yesterday when I got home I didn’t meditate again, I also did not complete my 9 minute meditation. The day before yesterday I ran four or five .25 mile laps, before I went to a candlelight yoga session. I missed the kundalini yoga beacuse I got there a minute or two late and the door was locked, so I went home, ran, showered, and then went back.

The yoga session was nice. I got the stretch I needed in my left hip, that has been hurt since I hurt it while parkouring.

To be continued…


Also published on Medium.