Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Where do I begin?

I think the bulk of my weekend was bulked up on Saturday. It was a day I recorded an event, went to yoga right afterwards at a class my friend was hosting as their final for their 300 hour Ganjasana training, then got called on a page (as I’m on call this week), went home, it was a false alarm, and had dinner with my friend and roommate (once again since I’m moving back).

The event I recorded was a multi-level marketing thing I ended up not having the heart to edit and send, even though there was $60 involved upon my completion of said work. The event was so icky I wouldn’t want to be associated with those people, create videos for them, or really engage with them ever again. I thought it was going to be some decent product with a multi-level component to it.

In the middle of the event, I read reviews about it online and they were just atrocious. The whole company is a ponzi-scheme as far as I’m concerned. I told the speaker via text I woudn’t deliver and made up the video going in and out of focus and not wanting to deliver something subpar. Then they asked for the audio and said they would pay me, I told them I don’t want to be associated with them or their company and that I’m blocking them.

Then they reached out to my friend, who helped me develop my personal brand statement as I discussed, the same person who got me in touch with this one hosting this multi-level marketing event. They cried and whined, attempting to get me to bend to their desires, and I did not comply.

I’d already made up my mind, as tough as it was, to block the person involved with the MLM thing and to stay true on that decision regardless of what happens with my friend who got me in touch with the MLM person (they are both friends I believe).

I really hate typing online, but I enjoy writing. Reason being is because I just recently realized I am an “open book.” Anyone can visit this site and read about what I’m thinking or doing. In this case, what I am writing about is sensitive since there are people I care about and people I don’t really care about the opinions of, one being my friend and one being the MLM person. But since they’re all connected it’s iffy.

I guess speaking from a center of truth means saying things that are not harmful to others. I don’t want to say anything harmful about what I encountered, aside from the fact that I am disgusted by mammonites. I don’t think it’s cruel to puke if you see a weird looking worm, and all of the things I encountered at that event, and with that person, make me feel sick to my stomach.

The great news? I decompressed from all of it at the yoga event. Sure, I missed 66% of it due to going to this event, which I thought would only make me miss 33% of it. Sure, I was all fired up for the 10 minute drive from the event to my friend’s house, but as soon as I got on my mat and started the flows, it was game over.

Here I was, at the house of a person I had met online when I was emailed that I have a “match,” through a website I joined not because I was looking to date someone, but because I wanted to understand how the site and business approach works, from an entrepreneur perspective. I reached out to this person after getting that match, on Instagram, and knew they were into yoga and such. We met one time, they invited me to a concert at a bar, and they never responded to me since then. Even though I was confused why they invited me to the yoga thing if they didn’t want to respond to me, I figured to go.

I had a great time. Her class was hands down the best yoga class I have attended, ever, period. Maybe there’s others I don’t remember from previous lifetimes, but this one seriously takes the cake. The music was phenomenal. I love sub-genre/micro-genre music, and I could not place it. It sounded like Bassnectar’s chilled out music mixed with some sort of trance/Shpongled and had no hints identifying what it was, as if the music wanted to be androgynous. My friend’s verbalization of the yoga flows was phenomenal. If until that point I had been incorrectly envisioning things while doing yoga, that totally changed.

I could see a vortex or whirlwind of positivity stretching across my body and twisting. The poses were simple but on an uneven ground, with no warm-up, and still very active mind and body, they completely somehow still managed to melt my mind as I began to relax and listen and embody the experiences I was meant to embody. It was the most engaging, most challenging, most rewarding, best yoga session I have ever had. If I thought yoga was amazing before this, I was experiencing only a tenth of what it can be.

At the end of it my friend offered nugs of pot to anyone that wanted some and thanked us all, I took a photo of the event since I already had my camera, and people shared food, sat, and spoke. I spoke with the friend of the person hosting the event, since I had seen their Instagram a day prior and their website. They were a writer, and we spoke about that and I enjoyed connecting with them.

Then my phone went off, I was paged for work, so I made my way out after saying goodbye to the writer and a man I met who was named after an aspect of the earth, imagine like “Ocean,” or “Mountain.”

Upon getting home, I realized that it was a false positive. I could have seen it if I went to my car and checked by connecting my laptop to a hotspot on my phone, but I wasn’t bummed out. I get social anxiety in environments like the one I was in, where I don’t know anyone except one person, often, maybe not all the time, so I avoided getting into that area of discomfort by being pulled away by work. Being pulled away to my friend’s house (where I’m moving back at the end of the month), where we made dinner and ate.

Overall Saturday was a great day. I felt it was a perfect day in fact, throughout the entire part of it, aside from the 10 minute drive from the MLM event to my friend’s house. I think towards the end of the day I went for a jog, in all honesty aiming for under 6 minutes for a mile, but finishing at around 6:50. I parkoured on the wood posts holding a barrier on the side of the road, and then another, and then another.

I remember months prior seeing those barriers, thinking if it would ever be possible to run across those widely spaced out posts. I found out it is. I fell once or twice, and it was all in good fun, no harm done.

On Sunday, yesterday that is, I went out to the parkour gym. I was a bit hung over from the night before. I had two glasses of wine, but that’s a lot for me these days. I did very well. In fact, it was the best parkour session I’ve ever had, ever.

After parkour I went back to my friend’s house, hung out with them, ate about 10 slices of bread. Okay, I ate 10 slices of bread, and then left at around 6 or so.

I got home and went to bed at 7 or 8 PM.

During the night I accidentally had my phone silenced, so I didn’t get a page at around 12 or 2 PM, and my coworker handled it. Which was kind of him but I felt bad for having made a mistake that was avoidable.

Now it is another day. I’m on call until the end of Friday.

I aim to cleanse all my material goods, and throw away as many things I may be hoarding as possible before moving back into my friend’s house. I want to just organize everything and feel like I am not carrying around things that are no longer needed.

Today I am not recording my friend’s marketing course, since there’s a break until the 25th. Tomorrow I would have gone to yoga, but since I am on call I will likely end up doing yoga myself at home. That way I don’t lost out on $15 if I am called in the middle of the session.

Aside from cleaning my things I want to start studying two subject matters and get serious and focused about expanding my learning. I think I’ve hit this great area in my life where I can finally relax somewhat, but I don’t want to stay in the relax reality too long. I would rather make an effort and see my results. For example, there is no relaxing when it comes to parkour. It’s about assessing risk, training, learning how to fall and how to fail, letting go of fears so that you can make the leap as smooth as possible, balance, distributed impact, and constant physical exertion. Sure, I could do it slower, or less intensely, but then it would still have these components even at a small level. So I’m not relaxing when I do parkour, but I’m also having more fun than I would be if I weren’t challenging myself.

I don’t necessarily want to put away my free time and turn it into work, like the work I do at my full-time job, but I do want to turn it into challenging and rewarding activities that I enjoy doing.

Speaking of, my coworker told me to get a Tinder a few days ago. I listened and on my bio I said I’m not interested in hookups, just looking for a friend. Today someone started messaging me, my first back and forth conversation with someone that I’ve matched, and it was so interesting speaking with them.

They have the same name as my ex, and they are proudly promiscuous. I can see how there are parallels between this person and my ex. I can also see how different I was back when I was young. I didn’t like how open my ex was open their escapades, and I didn’t message them for about half a year, at which point I was visiting the area in which I used to live in when I first “matched” with them on the dating app I was using at the time. That relationship, due to myself and to them, ended up ending and not being a great one.

With this person I’ve met now, I am not interested in dating them. They seem way too energetic for me as well, staying up for 30+ hours for example, working double-shifts, and drinking and such. They were telling me about the price of condoms, and I asked if they were vegan, and they said no.

I told them before I didn’t think much about it, but now thinking about nonvegan condoms is like thinking of having a animal cadaver on one’s privates.

The values don’t line up, but maybe there will be some entertainment value for the both of us since we like yoga and hiking. I can’t imagine remotely being interested in someone that drinks too much or isn’t as close to veganism as possible by the time I meet them. Because I’m not here to change people’s thoughts, especially people I would one day have a relationship with.

And I guess I can see why I’m not looking for hookups, because hookups can sometimes lead to relationships, and having feelings about someone I don’t align with, which is what I did in my first relationship at the age of 19, is certainly not what I am looking forward to ever doing again, ever.

With all of this in mind, I may switch over to a personal journal for the next 365 days. I don’t like the idea of being an “open book,” when the topics start to get a little private like this. Whether it’s talking about some crazy scam-type personality or someone who I see parallels with to my ex, it’s certainly not what I want to share with the world, not until I process and understand what’s going on.

At other times I think I write so much, it’s all just buried one way or another. No one would have the time or desire to read everything. I actually hope that some day someone who wants to learn about me will read it all. By that point I think the writings will be a better reference of this year than even my memory, which is cool in its own way.

To be continued…


Also published on Medium.