Yesterday I was well rested, I had about 8 hours of sleep. When I got home, after a somewhat demanding day, I decided to sleep from around 3 PM to 6 or 7 PM. I don’t quite remember. The details are blurry.

Unfortunately, that caused me to have insomnia. At around 12:30 PM I got a page from my work. I worked the page and then began to worry about not getting enough sleep. At around 1:30 PM I was sound alseep and got another page. Then I think I got one more at maybe 2:30 or 2:50 AM. I slept until 4 AM, woke up, and went to work.

I had it all planned out. I brought a lot of food, and materials to make a power smoothie with. Maca powder, a MagicBullet blender, cashews, even cold pressed expresso almond milk! It was all going to be so yummy. Unfortunately, in my haste, which was unwarranted, I did not bring the blades for the blender. It’s a little difficult to use a blender without blades…

So I drank my expresso and ate a peach. Things were peachy. Then I ate some kale mango chips. Even peachier. Mango-the-fun!

Now I’m on lunch. I was making a toasted organic bread sandwich, with both sides covered in veganise, with beautiful green lettuce, raw kale, and some honey mustard ranch for good effect when a member of my company said “that’s the really good stuff, you shouldn’t be doing that to yourself.” I thought that was pretty hilarious.

Now I’m here writing. I am afraid I have energy and won’t be able to nap when I get home and then I’ll pass out and be groggy when I get a page. As I wrote that last sentence, I got a page. Isn’t that funny? Luckily I don’t have to work on these things during the day. I can’t wait until Friday morning comes. That’s when my paging duties officially end for like 2 months or something, until I have to do it for another week.

I would go to kundalini yoga today but am not willing to risk getting paged in the middle of it. I was willing to risk it with parkour, which is the same price, $15 for a session, but not with yoga. If I get paged in the middle of parkour and it takes me 20 minutes to solve a problem, I can go back and still make the best out of my time. But if I’m in the middle of a yoga flow when I get paged, forget about it. Might as well throw $15 down the drain.

I know I’ll feel different tonight after I get through 6-7:30 PM without a page, thinking, boy, I could have gone. I hope that I don’t pass out and just complete yoga on my own. I need to start reading and building things. Enough of being all over the place, having interests in everything but equity in nothing.

It’s time to build a foundation, a legacy.

I always used to think about those that judge others who have so much money but don’t give it away. I thought it would be funny if I did that, just made so much money and angered others with how much I was able to amass, all the while knowing I’m giving it all away. Then when I listened to Jim Rohn a few days ago, maybe last week on the 4th of July, I heard about Andrew Carnegie and how there was a note on his desk that they found after he died. It said he will spend the first half of his life amassing wealth, and the last half giving it all away.

I love that. It looks like others have had that plan before me.

I don’t want to just give it away to the organizations and let them do what they think is right. I want to fine tune my soul’s ability to align with millions, and then use that alignment to create a worthwhile cause that will help as many as possible with the resources I’ve created.

It’s crazy to think that Mr. Carnegie made $1 billion dollars and is the richest self made person:

“Man does not live by bread alone. I have known millionaires starving for lack of the nutriment which alone can sustain all that is human in man, and I know workmen, and many so-called poor men, who revel in luxuries beyond the power of those millionaires to reach. It is the mind that makes the body rich. There is no class so pitiably wretched as that which possesses money and nothing else. Money can only be the useful drudge of things immeasurably higher than itself. Exalted beyond this, as it sometimes is, it remains Caliban still and still plays the beast. My aspirations take a higher flight. Mine be it to have contributed to the enlightenment and the joys of the mind, to the things of the spirit, to all that tends to bring into the lives of the toilers of Pittsburgh sweetness and light. I hold this the noblest possible use of wealth.”

What an intelligent man! I only hope that as I grow older I can become more refined and come to live my life in a similar manner and state of mind.

What really blew me away last night as I stayed up was reading the blog of someone I recently met. They had an entry on there which was from the time they were 11 years old. The way that they succinctly wrote was amazing. I have never seen something so clearly defined, an idea or anything, by someone of that age. I used to write things when I was 11, but they weren’t as analytical of the world. They may have been just as advanced, but they were metaphors or fictional.

So looking at that comprehension level of an 11 year old made me think how people like that are able to do it. I guess by reading, and expanding ones’ mind. As I was reading that entry I wondered how advanced my writings and observations would seem to myself when I’m 40 years old.

I guess relatively speaking, it will always seem lesser to oneself looking back since one will always be much further than the past. Although, it’s funny. I’ve had times where I’ve thought wow, I knew so much more back then. How did I forget it?

There are times one can look back on oneself and be amazed with the results or the mind set back then. How could it all go down from there?

The balance might be living in a state where in the future, looking back, there are no judgements.

I really need to expand my career in writing. Reading this person’s blog, knowing that they work for a yoga journal is so neat and cool. I could be a writer. I would just need to build up my portfolio, which wouldn’t be hard considering my experience. I would need to learn some important styles and rules and such, or maybe just find a niche where I can do my own thing, like being a writer for Lifehacker or Vice or some micro-trend where I can be myself and still cater to an audience.

Considering how fast I type, and how much I can put down in writing in a sitting, it would be beneficial to myself to focus on creating in this world in a way that involves typing.

I’ve thought about it. Programming is typing. My current work is half typing, emails, reading, and so forth. My ability to type complex thoughts as simply as possible, and to describe issues or resolutions as simply and quickly as possible directly impacts my ability to succeed in what I am doing. So in a way, as long as I am typing, and thinking deep thoughts, I am advancing the core of my being to be able to do whatever is needed. If I can couple that with a specific industry, and take a deep-dive into understanding all of its intricacies, I could hit some gold and really amass some wealth.

My yoga teacher friend from the East Coast will train me how they visualize things. I was reading about that last night, or the day before. I figured to ask my friend because I may learn better from them than from reading some online article.

I’m excited to put visualization to use and see where I can take me.

Oh, yesterday my manger called me Little Man. I thought about that during my insomnia and liked the sound of it. I told him today it made me think of Charlie from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He told me he used to call his kid that and showed me a picture. He has glasses and long hair, and rides around the U.S. in a camper van. He actually thought it might have been insulting to me, but it definitely wasn’t.

My primary nick name is Doc Oc. I laughed last night thinking about the name Doc Oc because it sounds like an obscenity if you say it fast enough and the hearing party isn’t aware of what is being said. I laughed and laughed actually, and didn’t fall asleep.

To be continued…


Also published on Medium.