Yesterday I drove the grocery store and then to my friend’s house. I had some veganaise and almond spread in the car, and it was extremely hot. I also left it there as I visited briefly, and then headed home. Traffic was insane! It took 40 minutes to get to the place I’m staying at until I move back with my friend. I really hit rush hour.

When I got back home I passed out from 5:15 PM, after eating, until around 7:30 PM when I got a page (in the form of a call to my company requesting something I could not help with). At that point I was much more awake than two hours prior, so I headed back to my friend’s house and hung out with them.

I found out that my social media course, on my website, wasn’t displaying the course to any user. I worked for about 1.5 hours or so to fix it, and went to bed at around midnight. I got paged once I think. Maybe twice. I can’t remember.

Then I woke up at 4 AM, gathered my things, and went off to work.

It’s kind of hard to get anything done being on call and being so tired. I can’t wait to finish work later today and head off and pass out. I’ll head to my friend’s house to clean up some stuff I have, maybe take a nap there, and then head home. Right now I’m just looking forward to Friday, since that’s when I stop being on-call and I can resume my regular life activities.

I really need to edit my book and get it printed. I should also share the social media course with others, now that it’s been created and it’s just sitting around!

Really having difficulty figuring out what to do next. I want to clean up all my belongings, have less attachments and such, before I move back into my friend’s house. The idea is to cleanse my materials, await my friend’s arrival on the 25th, see them, and then start with a clean and focused slate.

I have another friend that’s incoming to Boulder. They arrive in Denver on the 15th and take a bus up to Boulder. Not sure how long they’ll stay, but that’s neat! Then another friend of mine is visiting Denver and I hope to see them. They will visit Denver when my other friend will be here for their 25th trip, and I hope they get to see each other. The one coming on the 25th came with me to an event where I first met the friend arriving in Denver at the end of the month.

It’s wild to think there’s two friends from within a 50 mile radius of where I used to live in the East Coast that are visiting, and my friend that’s originally from the West coast is also visiting. Colorado is a cool place. I’m glad to be in the middle to be able to see my friends easily, and without effort.

I’m so tired sitting here, thinking and writing, it’s showing me how much pressure there is in my head. I can’t wait to rest my head down. I have 4 more hours of work after my lunch is done and I have every intention to be out the door the minute the clock strikes 2 PM so that I can get a good sleep from now until whenever the next page comes in.

I think I’m on some sort of dual-sleep schedule that looks like 2-3 hour nap in the evening, then 3-5 hours of sleep at night with all the pages in between totaling anywhere from 20 minutes to 80 minutes of work, burning the midnight oil.

I hate the sound I picked for my page notification. It scared the crap out of me yesterday when it went off at 7:30 PM. I guess that’s why it’s a good page. As long as I don’t sleep through it, it gets the job done, right?

My friend who is moving to Belize wants to set up a bed and breakfast there, which is super neat. I’m planning on growing within my company and continuing to live where my friend has rented for the past decade. In two years or so from now, my friend will move down to Belize, where I plan to invest in a sublet or something of that nature. It would be great to be able to visit. I get three weeks of vacation a year. I could see myself going down there for a week every 4 months, no doubts about it.

I’ve never really been on a long-term plan before, never really had the desire to be in a job or something longer than a year. But where I work now, it’s different. I could see myself being here for 5 or more years.

The way I see it, I’ll work on my dreams. Worst comes to worst, in 5 years from now I’m still at my company, with an honorable and enjoyable position, which I already feelI have, and I’ll be making a great income and even if my dreams aren’t realized, I will have the skills to realize them. But the way I also see it, the worst thing that could happen is I think worst comes to worst, I’m still here. Because really that could lead to settling.

Also why would I think about working at this company even though I have million dollar checks in my name waiting to be cashed? In all hopes, I hope that I can continue to work here after cashing the checks. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but if I’m able to produce so much value for the world to cash those checks, I should be able to hop to some grand position within my company paying $100,000+ (there’s senior developer roles paying $140,000 + immigration fees for people coming here from India), so why wouldn’t they pay me $100,000-200,000 a year if I was able to produce say, a million dollars in profit within the next 5 years for myself?

The million dollars should come by the end of next year, and five million should come by the end of 2022.

It’s great to be at a company where I feel that even if my value grows, I will have not outgrown the company. I’m super happy and proud to be here, now I just have to get more sleep so that I can perform to the best of my ability. Sure this week I’m on call, but I’ve been stretching myself short for a while, and it’s time to reconcile all of that, remembering that I’m in it for the long-run. I don’t need to see results overnight.

As long as I’m moving step by step, day by day, I should see my dreams fulfilled with seemingly no effort.

I don’t know if I talked about it yesterday, but I definitely am on the plan of making money now and giving it away later. I could care less what others’ think about my intentions or how much money it will look like I have in twenty years. Maybe that’s been the reason I haven’t made it so far. Thinking I don’t deserve it, it’s too much, it’ll make the fakes harder to tell from the genuine people, and so forth. Well who cares about the challenges of having a lot of money, if I can use that energy to help others overcome the challenges in their own lives?

First I must overcome mine, second I must build value and help others, third I must re-invest the energy given to me by others and produce or acquire assets that grow my portfolio, fourth I must develop into the person that can responsibly use funds to help the world, fifth I must set aside enough to last me through my lifetime and my immediate family, and last but not least, I must slowly ebb out, give away my earnings to help others as I am still alive, and whatever is left by the time I die will be diluted upon my death. If it is not diluted it will all go into my foundation, which will be designed to archive information, push human potential, serve as a bank of gene information so that others can choose partners to further specific traits (like peace, longevity, and veganism) based on the genes that they have within them, and increase consciousness connectivity around the world.

To be continued…

Also published on Medium.